Trying to find that “One” perfect partner may set you up for failure, but there is definitely someone out there who is wonderful for you.
There are many ways for you to meet your partner these days. Work, church, dating sites (and agencies), group meet-ups, or simply meeting someone at the supermarket. But, aside from meeting someone, you need to know what you are looking for and the things you need to avoid.
For you to understand what you are looking for, it is best to assess your past relationships. Why did they fail, how they could have worked, and what would you like to do differently, are important aspects to consider. Recognising and avoiding negative patterns is an important step to finding a partner who makes you happy.
HERE ARE SIX WAYS TO FIND THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR YOU:
- AVOID MR AND MRS WRONG
The best partner for a fulfilling relationship is someone who is warm, cooperative and emotionally stable.
Find someone who is going to fill your emotional cup, not drain it.
2. FIND SOMEONE YOU CAN TALK TO
Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power.
Communication is important in a relationship. Being able to open up to your partner helps strengthen your relationship bond. This also avoids surprises between the two of you.
3. IDENTIFY REAL DEAL BREAKERS
You might want a family, and they are adamantly against it. You want to travel the world and they are happy where they are.
There are things that you may consider deal breakers such as smoking, for instance.
When you enter a relationship, be aware that a whopping 69% of what is bothering you about a person is not going to change! That’s right, 69%! So, what bugs you today about a person will not go away (it will likely be worse) in 25 or 50 years. You need to define what are real deal breakers for you, and what you will be able to tolerate long-term. Entering a relationship, hoping that your partner will change, is not only unfair but causes unnecessary heartbreak. Every relationship needs compromise, but there are fundamental aspects of a person which will not change.
While it’s important to know the factors that are true deal-breakers to you, coming up with too many factors that are potential deal-breakers will set you up for failure. So choose wisely.
4. FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH
Some say that laughter is the best medicine, but it is also the best relationship glue.
The day to day life is already tough, wouldn’t it be nice to be around someone who can help take your mind off the stress even for a few minutes.
Laughing at silly things with your partner doesn’t mean you’re crazy. It actually shows that you are on the same wavelength. Laughing releases endorphins, and being able to make someone laugh, means that they’re able to change perspective: they are most likely more laid-back and forgiving. Life is tough enough, find someone who brings in a little lightness.
5. OPPOSITES ATTRACT- REALLY?
This is an old cliché, but is it true?
Studies have shown again and again that partners in stable relationships come from similar backgrounds. It’s the similar background that often makes for the initial “click” when two people first meet. It’s the sense of familiarity, the shared common ground, that’s so appealing.
Now, there still needs to a remain a bit of unknown territory for couples to feel attracted to one another (otherwise it would be like dating a family member).
I often meet singles who ask me to find somebody opposite to them, in order to “complete” them. This is the wrong way to go about a partner search. For instance, a complete introvert will never happily live with a complete extravert, as they draw their energy from very different sources.
When opposites attract, they may have a wonderful one-night-stand and perhaps even a turbulent relationship, but it’s not a guarantee for long-term bliss.
So find someone who shares the same values, but who is just different enough from you so that you both remain interested.
6. DON’T RUSH
You are a couple of months into a new relationship and things are going great.
You want to move in together and get married because you are madly in love. If this is true, then giving the relationship some time to mature will only strengthen your bond, not weaken it.
Take the time to truly get to know the person before rushing into a life-changing partnership.
Good relationships, like good wine, only get better with age, whereas bad relationships can sour and turn to vinegar after a time. Find out which it is before jumping into anything permanent.
If there’s anybody out there interested in sharing their story about how they met and how they keep their relationship alive, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me at hello@luxdates.lu. Explore Luxdates membership page here.
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