Luxdates First Date Kit
Hello and welcome to another edition of Luxdates First Date Kit!
Some of our First Date Kit topics are Talking about Ex-Partners, What to Wear, Dating Mindset, Who Calls First after a Date, Who Pays on the First Date, Cross-Cultural Dating, Values and Secrets of a Successful Marriage.
Today we’re going to talk about Communication.
You have a date. Congratulations! In times of the Corona Virus, dating someone is a special challenge and so much depends on communication. In my latest installment of the Luxdates First Date Kit, I talk to Jill Saville MA, PCC about communication in general and on a first date in particular.
Jill Saville is an Executive Coach, Trainer in Communication, Leadership and a Speaker. Her brand is called Unlocking Possibilities. Below are some excepts from my interview with her.
What Made You Become Interested in Communication?
Communication – a lot of it is how we were born. I like people, and I like to talk. Communication is something I like doing. I became interested in communication because there are some people that I instantly click with. Trying to understand myself and people more, I thought it was a great idea, and it is one of the best talks that I got, I think.
Please explain PCM
We’re made up as humans of six different floors. Imagine a block of flats.
Each of these floors has strengths, but our floors are not in the same order necessarily as somebody else’s, and that’s when we can find difficulty with the communication.
In one of the slides of the interview video, Jill illustrated a Personality Structure Test Profile where there is a block of flats (see image below). It has the six titles of the different parts of us. About 30% of the population would be the harmonizer. The strengths of the harmonizer are warm and caring, but 75% of those harmonizers are female. A lot of women have a harmonizer communication style.
Connection Happens When People Are Naturally Interested and Curious
Connection is based on being interested and curious about that other person. There is a natural communication style in many of us that just asks question and is curious. Other people are not necessarily curious. It could be quite a stressful situation in the first date. Connecting when we’re in distress is difficult.
Top Five Communication Tips on a First Date
1. Be curious and ask questions. Find common ground.
2. Be tolerant and don’t take things personally.
3. Be authentic. This is one time to show the real you.
4. Be calm because if you stay calm, they usually will calm down.
5. Smile. Smile is the great connector.
Thank you, Jill of Unlocking Possibilities for gracing this interview. Watch the complete interview above. Learn about communication and don’t forget the tips that Jill mentioned.