Luxdates First Date Kit
Talking about Cross-Cultural Dating
Hello and welcome to the 6th edition of Luxdates First Date Kit!
Today We’re Going To Talk About Cross-Cultural Dating!
Tatjana von Bonkewitz, works as a freelance HR consultant for Hofstede Insights. She supports organizations in harnessing cultural diversity to their benefit and how they can communicate and manage better across cultures.
The company was named after Professor Geert Hofstede, the guru in cultural studies and interpersonal communication. He made academic, cultural studies back in the 1960s. His theories and models are still further developed and revalidated every couple of years.
Below are some excerpts from the interview.
What Is Your Definition Of Culture?
Culture is the software of our minds. It’s how we are primed, developed at an early age, usually through our parents and the very close environment. This usually happens on a subconscious level. We acquire it.
Like in Tatjana’s case, she left Germany at quite an early age. She said that some things and certain values don’t stay with us. When she was living in Italy, some things still stayed.
What’s The Germanish That Have Stayed With You?
For me, it’s the value I attribute to expertise. So I would not go for research from a fancy university. I would always look at his exact expertise and maybe that expertise is actually given through a very small University nobody knows about. That’s something I encountered so many times in my life.
As a school student, I like those professors who teach best who knew their subject and knew how to bring them across. They didn’t have to be really nice or friendly if they knew their subject. I could respect them and learn from them. It instills trust.
What Importance Does Culture Have In Our Globalized World?
It is actually very important. On one hand to be aware of your own culture, like in my case, the expertise for example, how important that is for me and to understand how other cultures function because, in business relationships, we need to build trust.
Coming from an Asian country whether a relationship is extremely important, I might throw away all my expertise at you but you want to build up a relationship. I would probably say why are you invading my private zone whereas the other person will say why don’t you want to build up a relationship with me? I need to know that to be successful in business.
On a First Date, What Can I Expect From Somebody With A Different Background?
Nowadays, the dating phase is very intense. With social media and Whatsapp, expect a lot of messages early in the morning, something like “good morning, my love” or “how are you, sweetie?”, a lot of this kind of words. They also expect you to have a lot of time for them. So saying, “I’m busy”, “I have a family”, “I have a business”, “I need to travel”. It’s also perceived as something personal, so you don’t want to spend time with me. You don’t want to put me first. Because coming from my background, I have other priorities at the moment. So they need to be prepared for a very intense dating phase.
There are many exciting questions and answers in this unique interview with Tatjana: “What does it mean if a man offers to split the bill?”, Do we really have to accept everything just because culture pre-determines it?, and “Speaking in a foreign language, what influence does it have on a relationship?”
This Luxdates First Date Kit of Cross-Cultural Dating is an exciting topic, especially nowadays. Now we boil down to the final question of Claudia to Tatjana.
What Are Your 5 Tips For Dating Across Cultures?
1. Broaden your perspective.
2. Adapt your cultural glasses.
3. Learn about different cultures.
4. Ask questions.
5. Remain yourself.
There are so many enriching aspects to date across cultures. Watching the video is encouraging to anyone who wants to try and consider dating from a different culture or background. If you want to know what Cross-Cultural Dating is, then watch the video above.
If anybody out there has any experiences, any wisdom to share with us, how they deal with cross-cultural relationships, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me at Claudia@luxdates.lu .