Luxdates First Date Kit – Secrets of a Successful Marriage Part 1

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Luxdates First Date Kit

Secrets of a Successful Marriage

Hello and welcome to another edition of Luxdates First Date Kit!

Today we’re going to talk about Secrets of a Successful Marriage.

Some of our First Date Kit topics are Talking about Ex-PartnersWhat to WearDating MindsetWho Calls First after a Date, Who Pays on the First Date, Cross-Cultural Dating and Values.

David Holland talked to me about the love story he and Lynn Holland share. David has a Coaching and Training business in Luxembourg called Results Rules OK.

Watch the interview above where David describes how couples create rituals. You’ll find out his top 5 tips on how to survive the Corona virus crisis. David says that this lockdown does amplify any emotion whether it’s happiness or highlights depression or stress. It’s tough to deal with it. They are finding their path through it. Below are excerpts from the interview.

Tell Us A Bit About Your Relationship

We first met when we were in high school. Lynn is older by me by a couple of years. The first time I came across Lynn, she was taller by me then, and she threw me out of the library. She was the head librarian. I was 16 when I met her properly. 

We’ve been together since 1979, married in 1986. 34th anniversary this year. We’ve been together for 40 years. I don’t have a lot of memories without Lynn being in it. That is unique, and lots of people have that. It is quite a surprise. Everything I can remember significant was with Lynn in it alongside me leading. 

Is This The Worst Crisis You Have Faced As A Couple?

I think in terms of the scale of the crisis, it’s the most significant I’ve ever seen globally. In terms of relationship and answering business now when it’s not the high level, I would say it’s a 2 or 3 out of 10 and what I mean by that, not that we have a huge amount of disruption in the business as anybody in business has but we’ve got to the point because we’ve been on this roller coaster ride and this is my fourth or fifth major crisis in business we get through it okay if we stick together.

We get through it so this time around, it’s tough, and I’m seeing a lot of clients struggling and having a tough time which you know is heartbreaking but will end. So we have that sort of trust in ourselves I suppose that we’re going to be okay and get through it so it is a dramatic crisis and I’m not worried about it. I’m concerned obviously but if this has been the first one experience as a couple. In the business twenty five years ago, it would have been the different. Still, a bit more grey hairs with a lot of people know how it works or what we can do, we can create something as we go along so alone it’s a great significant crisis. Again because we’re together on it, we’re not that concerned. We are concerned about our clients and everybody else, but we do know we’re okay.

How Do You Support One Another In Times Of Crisis?

We’ve been through some crisis, no cash flow or situations like that. If it’s me who sort of crashes burns or has the pressure, the stress, Lynn is the one who picks me up. If Lynn crashes or burns, or has little distress in a situation, I pick her up. The challenge is, however, if you’re both crashing, burning the same time, what do you do now? I experienced that as well because we’re both quite highly strong characters people.

If we both go get out at the same time, that’s difficult. We can pick each other up, and we can smile the way we go if we’re both under the level of pressure which may be the case for a lot of people now. I found just initially a bit of time separation. I don’t mean leave but sit in a different room, take the heat out of the situation, walk away, sit down, have a cup of coffee, read a book, and just allow the heat to dissipate a little bit and then give a little bit of time and come back.

One will just smile you know you’ll realize it’s going to be okay, or whatever it is but take the heat out of it because fear and stress I think this fear that people have now whether it’s around money and career, whatever it is, it is the amplification in their mind makes you appear a lot worse than it is because they’re going to be okay. Still, they don’t see that right now. With age and experience, I know we’re going to be okay to a degree or figure it out. Time and space is the best way to do it.

What Are Your Top 5 Tips For Couples in this Crisis?

1. Maintaining dependent spaces and routines.

2. Always eat together. Sit down as a family and eat at the correct and proper time.

3. Share the chores. 

4. Make a little bit of fun. Have a laugh about it. Keep it light and bright because it’s going to end at some point. 

5. Plan for after. Have a plan for the future. 

The global pandemic has left most couples to be together always, but how do you keep your marriage alive during the crisis? Know interesting tips from my interview with David Holland found in the videos above.

Do you need help in meeting someone and be on a date? Feel free to contact me at Claudia@luxdates.lu. Read more about our membership on this page.

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