… (and Still Being Yourself) because finding and attracting someone you love means finding someone who likes you for who you are.
Just Be Your (Best) Self
Do you know this feeling? You’re on a date, or you meet this great person online, and you want him or her to like you!
You tweak your behaviour a little bit, laugh at his or her jokes. Even put a bit more lipstick on than usual or give your cheeks an extra splash of cologne (Gentlemen! Take it easy with the scent!!!).
So how do you resolve the problem of being authentic, versus merely doing what is supposed to be attractive? Here are the top four tips to help you start attracting someone:
- Attraction techniques can help you get noticed.
It is true that people should not judge a book by its cover, yet most people initially judge books that way. No matter how much excellent stuff we have on the inside, people may not see it unless we put forth some effort when we present ourselves to the outside world. You don’t have to be a model or change your entire look or personality, but a little tweak increases your odds of success. So – if it has been a while since you went clothes shopping, now might be a good time. Take a trusted friend. If you feel it’s time to get to the gym to lose unwanted Corona-pounds, now is the time to go!
These tips and techniques can help build initial interest, even if it is bit outside your usual routine.
- Your unique features can help you find a satisfying match.
Generically the techniques to attracting someone can help you get initial interest from potential partners. But, those partners may not entirely be compatible with you on a deeper level. This type of superficial interest may work for the pick-up artist, or others seeking casual flings. It is not quite enough when you’re looking for a loving, long-term partner.
So, after attracting someone’s attention, it’s time to let your unique, authentic traits and preferences drive your encounter. This is when you should transition from the superficial to more intimate and personal conversations. You’ll get to see whether you are genuinely compatible and if your mutual needs align.
- Looking beyond the surface will help you judge potential partners.
A truly compatible relationship gives others the same respect and consideration that you expect from them. So be curious about your dates and partners, beyond their superficial qualities. Build rapport with them and get to know them on a deeper level. Find out whether their traits and goals are genuinely compatible with your own preferences. See whether they are willing to invest in you—and the relationship.
- Balance authenticity with necessity over time.
An established a general level of interest with a partner and more unique points of connection. An ongoing relationship becomes a balancing act between the two. Tending to more generic and universal aspects of relationships become essential again. Acknowledging it when your partner, showing gratitude for their efforts and using touch to spark passion and romance.
These behaviours can be shown in ways that are both authentic and unique to yourself and your relationship. Things like how we show our appreciation, showing of gratitude, can that develop in a romantic relationship. Couples find their own special, and authentic, ways of meeting the somewhat generic, universal tasks required for a satisfying relationship.
There are general aspects that are common to every love-relationship, doing your own authentic and unique way is essential. Sometimes the emphasis is on the superficial and universal, as is often the case with building initial attraction. The force is more on the intimate and specific, as is often with the “getting-to-know-you” stages of a relationship.
These two processes balance out in the relationship over time—allowing you to share your best self with one another.