Luxdates First Date Kit

Values

Hello and welcome to the sixth edition of Luxdates First Date Kit!

Today we’re going to talk about Values.

Some of our First Date Kit topics are Talking about Ex-Partners, What to Wear, Dating Mindset, Who Calls First after a Date, Who Pays on the First Date and Cross-Cultural Dating.

We had the privilege of interviewing, Dr Keith Amoss, a Career Coach in Luxembourg. He does coaching, mentoring, training and facilitating. 

Values became important to him because he did some research, particularly on why people do things you wouldn’t expect them to do. His focus on research was why people volunteer and the worth that drove them to do it. Could it be because they were wanting the greater good, looking forward to helping their fellow man or perhaps running away from someone or they were very compassionate?

The overriding value that came out that was interesting – a sense of adventure – primary value that drove those people.

Why Are Values So Important To Our Lives And Identities?

You don’t know your values are necessary until it has been stepped on. They’re very closely linked to our emotions and when something upsets you when you feel that something is going wrong it often because there is a conflict between what you believe in, your personal value and what you’re seeing and what’s happening.

So values are an integral part of us. They come almost the moment we come into this world. We have our parents who instilled the values in us. There are also our friends. We may have our religion. We have our culture, our nationality. Many things are influencing us, making us who we are. They can’t change over time. They can’t be adjusted depending on your circumstances.

How Can We Identify Our Values?

There are several ways. One way is to look back. You can also do tests online. 

Do Opposites Really Attract?

It’s a complicated area. Values are not necessarily the same as your personality. So the difference between the two, I think you need to be really looking for something similar in your partner. 

Do Partners Need Identical Values?

Because we’re all different, you’re unlikely to find someone who’s going to match everything so there may be some compromise because some of their values may not be the same as yours. There’s a lot to be said in fact for having your own life in the partnership. You have things that are yours, particularly you do as well as your partner having things that he or she does.

If you want to find somebody who meets your values, identify yours first. Dr Keith Amoss gave some great pointers on how to do that. You will know if the person’s values are aligned with yours and are values important in a relationship? Find out all about it in the videos above.

Do you need help in meeting someone and be on a date? Feel free to contact me at hello@luxdates.lu. Discover Luxdates’ membership here.